It seems like I'm crying all the time now. For a while nothing made me cry, and it almost scared me. I'd want to, but it was like I was so numb that I couldn't. I had been pushing away everything that was hurting me for so long that I just couldn't express anything anymore. It was awful, and also happened to be around a couple of the most difficult, painful years I've known thus far. Anyone who met me in the year after I move back got to know me during the worst couple of years or so of my life. Only they probably didn't know that because there were things that I just couldn't talk about. The fact that some of the friends are still around says alot about who they are.
So now, I'm a basket case when Extreme Makeover: Home Edition comes on, when the girls get together like we used to, or when I admit that I'm just a little bit overwhelmed.
On the other hand, emotional releases tend to mean that I'm much more relaxed and happy the majority of the time. Which I have been. I just still have alot going on right now, and alot of things to take care of.
2 comments:
yay for crying!
seriously. i've always been an emotional 'basket case', as it were, but i've been learning over the years that my emotionalism is part of what makes me unique & special, and not part of what makes me too much to handle.
while, there are always limits to what we should and should not reveal to others, i have found that restraining the natural release of the heart only leads to a larger, and oftentimes more damaging, release later.
glad to hear the tears are back, so to speak.
oh, and by the way, extreme makeover:home edition is a tear jerker show, and i challenge anyone to hold back.
seriously. But these days watching the news sends me looking for tissues. Granted, there's been alot of things going on that are really emotional, but STILL.
Rachel and I had a whole discussion on the results of holding back emotions. Our conclusions included these:
-denying them makes it worse
-supressing them only makes them bigger and worse
-wallowing is also bad
-feel it, let it out, deal with what's left
RE: Extreme Makeover - I challenge any woman to hold back.
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