biding my time

or "trying to please my true love"

or "thoughts on marriage" from an unmarried single.

For as long as I can remember, I've heard that the first year is the hardest for newlyweds. The reasons varied a bit from couple to couple, but usually involved the adjustments to cohabitation, finances, lifestyle, etc. I lived with a pastor's family for a few months in Nashville, and the couple handled allot of pre-marital counseling for the church. Pre-marital counseling is a very good idea. There are things that couples don't think about during the engagement that can become big issues later on. Also, statistically couples who live together before they get married are more likely to get divorced later on. Often because there are subconscious precedents laid down before they committed to marriage.

I don't want to seriously date anyone who I wouldn't consider marrying. I did it once, and it was a mess. So have I dated much? No. Does that bother me? No. Why? Because the right man for me (one approved by my First love - God) won't be bothered by it either. So I'm biding my time, trying not to waste it on hollow romances. Is my track record flawless? Not really, but whose is?

The idea of a big ceremony scares the crap out of me. Seriously. I can't watch the wedding scenes without going into a near panic. However, after discussing this with my mother and a couple of close friends, the speculation is that the guy I'll end up marrying will want a big ceremony. Greeaaat. I will however be insisting on including power tools in the registry. I doubt he'll have a problem with that.

The actual marriage (one day) is something that doesn't scare me. I know that there will be rough points, as there are in all relationships. There's no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect woman, but if there was that wouldn't be much fun. What "they" say is that well it's the right time and the right person, you'll know. And the right time doesn't always seem like the right time; in fact it can seem like the worst time to be meeting your "match". That's what I've heard.

Oh, and if by chance you've had some dream or word or vision about who I'm supposed to marry, DON'T TELL ME!!! I really don't want to know yet.