wait a minute

I'm hoping that this week goes by quickly. it's my last one before I start my new job on the 2nd (nice way to start the new year, huh?), and I'm really glad because I'm not sure that I could take much more of this one. but God knew that. going postal on the few hippies and and New-Agies that come into the shop wouldn't be a good thing. for that matter glaring at the older men who think that it is necessary to explain to me the plot of Jurassic park wouldn't be good either. (hey, I saw that move WHEN IT CAME OUT!) I just have to put up with this until saturday, and then I'm done. DONE!

all I need . . .

some really great things have been happening, and I'll be sharing more shortly, but for now enjoy this video I found on YouTube. it's an old friend and one of my favorites of his songs . . .

interlude

well, the instructions from a recently completed project are on their way, but not quite ready yet. for now I'll just say that I'm exhausted. I'm also waiting to hear back about a job. from all appearances it looks like it could be really great. it would also be a reason to stick around Athens for a while yet. and give me more flexibility to travel.

glory glory to ol' georgia

ok, so you won't hear that much about football on here from me. HOWEVER, I have to say that a certain play this afternoon was quite impressive. one of our linebackers reached into a PILE of players and snatched out the fumble made by Tech, and then proceded straight to the goal line. ok, so he dove in and got himself called out for it, but still. even better though is that Tony Taylor is an Oconee boy. Warriors make great Bulldogs.

give em all a big fat lip

so I guess I'll explain the previous post first. I went up to Nashville for a few days two weekends ago. which seems crazy that it was that long ago and that I'm writing about it NOW, but whatever. the YouTube video is of the in-store MuteMath did at Grimey's saturday evening. it was great, especially considering that I was standing on the back porch with the other fans who didn't show up an hour early. but I got the cd signed, so it's all good. the next day we went back to Grimey's to see another in-store. this time it was a band called the Black Keys. rather Hendrix-esque, but don't let the music fool you - it's a couple (yes, two!) of white guys (as in, not even TAN) from Ohio. they're really good. later that night we headed over to City Hall. which is a cool venue b-t-w, but why call it that? crazy. anyway, the main event was the MuteMath show, which opened with Club of Suns. Club of Suns is a glam-rock band, which is fine if you know that. however, for the unprepared it's just bizarre . . . and they throw glittery confetti at the audience. next up was Jonezetta, who won me over immediately back in Athens, so dancing to their set was a blast. plus lead-singer Robert had a little fan posse in the front, so that was cute. following them and preceding MuteMath was The Whigs, who performed wonderfully, despite most of the audience not knowing any of their songs. actually, they had managed to win most of the crowd over by the end of the set. and then came MuteMath . . . incredible. this had to have been the best show I've been to. I tend to rate these things on the total package, the atmosphere in the crowd, etc. it was fantastic. unbelievable. and I was at the 40watt show! so if you get a chance, go see this band. seriously.

monday I finally got to see Rachel, and we all went out to lunch before we headed back down to Athens. it was really great, but now I keep thinking about moving back to Nashville. but not for a year or so. AT LEAST.

peculiar people

what I did this weekend:

crazy

I love the holidays, I can't help it. I grew up watching my grandmother decorating for every holiday that had a theme. she had rotating art collections for each one and the seasons for crying out loud! and Christmas is my favorite - the history & meaning, the events, the look, food.

I'm already planning dishes for Thanksgiving and pulling out books for Christmas. I can't help it.

my grandmother

Biography of Gretta Moll Dewald

Gretta was born October 26, 1929 at Kutztown, PA of Dr. Lloyd A. Moll and Olga Wuchter Moll.

Early in World War II they moved to Atlanta where her father was assigned, as a Naval Officer, to assist the Commandant of the Navy's V12 program at Georgia Tech. After the war, he organized and developed what is now Southern Polytechnic State University (then, Southern Tech, a remedial program to prepare returning veterans to enter Tech). He later served as President of Middle Georgia College in Cochran, then Georgia Southwestern College in Americus, where he retired from the Georgia University System. Subsequently, he retired from the Navy Reserve as a Captain.

Gretta graduated from Atlanta Girls High in 1946, then Agnes Scott College in 1950. She taught 4th/5th grade Geography and History at Eastman, GA in 1950/51, then 10th grade English at Atlanta Bass High in 1951/52.

She married Charles Dewald at St. John's Lutheran Church in Atlanta December 20, 1951. They now have five children and seven grandchildren. They were very active in the North Decatur Presbyterian Church during the late ‘50's, through the ‘60's and ‘70's while their children were growing. Gretta was a teacher, Superintendent of the Sunday School, organized the Children's Choirs, an occasional soloist in the Adult Choir, and the 2nd woman chosen by the congregation to be an Elder. She was active in Decatur's Winona Park Elementary School's PTA and library; Indian Guides; Scoutmaster of a Girl Scout Troop – all while raising five children and getting involved in Politics.

Gretta's first involvement was Ray Cunningham's (a family friend) campaign for Decatur City Councilman in the early/mid ‘60's – he lost. After that, she was one of the organizers of the Democratic Women of DeKalb. She became active in the Democratic Party of DeKalb; then became its President. In the late ‘60's, she, along with Marge Thurman and others, re-wrote the State Party's by- laws.

During the late ‘60's and through the ‘70's, the Dewald house on Kodiak Drive in Sagamore Hills was the largest house available to the Democratic Women of DeKalb, so it was used for a number of their functions. When Shirley Chisholm, Congresswoman from New York City, ran for President in 1972 (the first black woman to do so), the group decided to put on a reception for her when she came through Atlanta since no other group offered. They chose our 5-level house. No one anticipated the result. Well over (300) people signed the guest book, some from as far away as Miami. An estimated (250) were still waiting when she arrived late. Charles was concerned about the strength of the structure. The lowest level is a 17' x 42' playroom. It was packed. She was a small person, so she took off her shoes and stood on top of our pool table to address the crowd. Meanwhile, traffic on Kodiak Drive, a suburban cul-de-sac street about 1/4 mile long, was completely blocked. Neighbors could not get to or out of their drives. Police arrived twice to get it cleared, but were not successful.

Gretta's involvement with Jimmy Carter started in 1970. Her father, Dr. Lloyd Moll - President of Georgia Southwestern College in Americus, called and suggested that she consider working in Carter's gubernatorial campaign ( the opposition called him "Jimmy WHO?" ). Dr. Moll had been an education resource/mentor to state Senator Carter who had been assigned to the Senate Education Committee of Georgia's legislature. Gretta became very active in the DeKalb County campaign. Subsequently, the large DeKalb voter turnout for Carter was a notable factor in his victory.

In 1972, Governor Carter nominated a slate of Georgia Delegates for the Democratic National Convention in Miami. Gretta was not among them, so she chose to run against one of Carter's nominees (Horace Tate) and won – the only successful challenge to Carter's nominees.

Gretta actively campaigned to establish MARTA, and then served on the MARTA Board as a representative of DeKalb County from 1975 into 1977. One of the original MARTA cars carried a brass plate honoring ‘Gretta M. Dewald' as a MARTA Board Member.

During the run-up to the 1976 Presidential Campaign preliminaries, Gretta arranged to have Senator "Scoop" Jackson of Washington, Representative Paul Simon of Illinois – both prominent potential presidential candidates – along with Governor Jimmy Carter and Senator Herman Talmadge of Georgia at the same head table in the Plantation Restaurant on Memorial Drive for a Democratic Party of DeKalb function. The state party was very frustrated because they were "scooped".

When Carter started his Presidential Campaign for the 1976 Democratic Nomination, he organized the Peanut Brigade. Gretta became a team leader who would fly into a city, rent a car and take a team into an assigned neighborhood to canvass door-to-door for votes. She visited, among others, Tallahassee, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cleveland, and three New England states. She was Co- Chairperson of the DeKalb County campaign. Jimmy's mother, Lillian Carter, was the key ‘draw' for a reception at our house.

Our family attended Jimmy's January 1977 inauguration. Gretta was told by Rosalyn that she was on several ‘interesting lists'. Later that year, Rosalyn called and asked her to come to Washington and be the Chairperson - Women's Division of the Democratic National Committee. The male-oriented DNC provided very little funding for the Women's Division, so Gretta spent her own money on a program of seminars she planned and conducted around the country to train women to run for office. Also, she often worked with or for Rosalyn, traveling with her or sometimes filling in for her at speaking engagements.

After Carter lost re-election in 1980, and Manuel Maloof was elected Chairman of the DeKalb County Commission, Gretta was asked by Manuel to return to Atlanta and become his Executive Assistant. Manuel utilized her as his ‘chief of staff', having all department heads report in through her to him. Normally, she implemented his plans and orders. She served from January 1981 until early in 1989 – the longest serving, and only woman Executive Assistant in DeKalb's history.

In 1988(?), she was one of those named and honored as ‘Women of Achievement' by the Metropolitan Atlanta YWCA. There were numerous other awards and recognitions.

In 1989, Gretta was asked by DeKalb's judges to organize and manage the ‘Pre-Trial Release Program' for the DeKalb Court System, reporting to the judges. She did so until retiring at the end of 1994.

In 2004, Georgia State University Library requested and received Gretta's records and papers – some (195) file boxes. In 2005, they staged an event honoring Gretta and thanking her for the gift to their Women's Collection.


written by Charles F. Dewald

My grandmother passed away early this morning. She had been suffering from Alzheimer's for a while now, and over the last few months it had grown progressively worse. Some of the family had gathered to celebrate her 77th birthday this last Saturday evening. I don't know whether she knew we were there, but we were able to see her. She was an incredible woman.

popularity

MUTEMATH keeps getting better every time I see them. the first time I saw them wasn't really on purpose, even though they were headlining. I went because a friend of mine was opening for them. last night though was off . . . the . . . HOOK! The Whigs performed wonderfully as local boys should, and the surprise was the first of the opening acts - Jonezetta. I'm sure if I go through my old issues of RELEVANT there will be a article about them somewhere, because I know I've heard of the name prior to this tour, but I can't remember when or where exactly.

as this is the third time MUTEMATH has played Athens in less than two year, I'm sure that they'll be back again soon. there seems to be a mutual affinity between the band and the town. go figure. interesting too that a band who sounds the way they do came from New Orleans. very cool.

crashing down

(sorry Mat!)

so the ceiling at work caved in last night. not ALL of it, but I good chunk of sheetrock and insulation was on the floor when I opened the door this morning. My boss had called me last night as I was heading to the cast party for South Pacific to warn me about what I'd see when I came to work the next morning. as I found out from the building manager this morning, a pipe had burst in the apartment above, flooding both that space and the store below. we had thought it was the tenants up to their flood-inducing keggers. so this time it wasn't. at least not entirely.

so today I watched more soggy pieces of sheetrock and chunks of insulation crash to the floor as the maintenance guys ripping them out of the ceiling. when I wasn't wondering if they were going to fall off the ladder it was kinda entertaining. and we actually had some decent sales too.

how was your monday? ;-)

winding road

ok, so I'm pensive. not that it's anything new . . .

I am having an amazing time performing in South Pacific. it's fantastic. not that I haven't flubbed a few dance steps, but it's still great anyway.

I keep thinking about what I want to write, what I want to say in my music. I must be over-thinking it, because I don't remember it being this hard before. but when you realize how much you cared what people though, you get a little self-conscious about what you're saying. I guess. still working that out. still working alot of stuff out actually.

I don't know where I'm going with any of this, and I have another performance tomorrow, so I'd better get some sleep . . .

here it goes again

it was impressive enough as a no-cuts, one shot video . . . and then they did it live . . .

I don't want to be

the internet just isn't that interesting.

there comes a point when stuck at work with little to do that you just can't read another blog, or another news site, or window shop (ha!) another website. and I want to get out of here so that I can go work on things at home. oh, and THEN there's the continuing quarter-life crisis thing. should I go to grad school? that feels like postponing the inevitable. quit this job and temp again? find another job period? move to another city? having choices and opportunities is a good thing, but it doesn't make it easy.

I hate moving. the thought of trying to move the studio contents ALONE is daunting enough. it's great in that the process forces you to get rid of accumulated random objects, but I still hate it.

oh, and why is it that it's the rednecks who want grills "like for your teeth"? I thought that was a hip-hop thing.

random thoughts

(yes, still a song title!)

I freaked out Walter (old guy who chases people with his wheelchair Downtown) or he's just the new Rumpelstiltskin. say "hello, Walter" as you pass him on the sidewalk (before he tries to get money out of you) and he'll leave you alone. or at least that day anyway.

the two podcasts that I enjoy have been MIA this week - RELEVANT & Grey's Anatomy. what gives?

finally . . . my mom is fine, so thanks for the prayers. she was rushed to the ER monday night. I'm not going to go into the details, but everything is fine. she's just been rather worn out the last few days. I will say that my Pastor's wife is fantastic. she came and helped out tuesday with some follow-up doctor's visits. I've known of pastor's wives who coordinate other people in the church to take care of that, but rarely do it themselves. she volunteered.

that's all for tonight . . .

honey bun

South Pacific opens next week at The Morton Theater (Downtown Athens on Washington Street). ACT is producing it. for the cast list and such click here. it's running friday and saturday the first weekend (Oct. 13 &14), and thursday through sunday the next weekend (Oct. 19 - 22).

it's going to be alot of fun, so you should totally come. PLUS . . . there are UGA home games BOTH WEEKENDS . . . *wink wink, nudge nudge*. come on, you know you want to come!

Bring the Pain

I just got home from rehearsal and my legs HURT. not in subtle way, but in an obvious "I don't want to walk" kind of way. and it's awesome.

why?

because once I'm working out, it's ok. getting started is where I have the troubles. so between running all over Downtown and dance rehearsals, I might start getting in shape yet. bring the pain . . .

All I Need

this title is one from a song that I friend of mine wrote. it also happened to close the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy tonight. the song is a favorite of mine, and seeing Mat doing this (from a distance) brings joy in a way that I can't really explain. it's a personal thing, but when I watch my friends out doing what they love and succeeding at it at the same time - I couldn't be happier. maybe because I've also watched as people I loved threw everything that they dreamed of away.

the last few months I've been thinking alot about what I want to do now. I've been applying for jobs, thinking about grad school, cleaning out/organizing my studio . . . alot of thought and alot of prayer. I'm an artist , and I always have been. BUT . . . I haven’t been able to get really excited about it. not enough to make it my career. it's something I've always done, and I'll always do, but I've felt like it wasn't the main thing. it sounds crazy, right?

so I recently auditioned for a musical. I hadn't sung in front of anyone in several YEARS, and I hadn't auditioned in what, five at least? the audition was terrifying, I locked me throat up and threw my timing off, but Tom (the director) saw through it or just took a chance. rehearsals have been a re-learning curve to say the least. it's hard and I'm having to really work at it, and I love it.

and then a couple of days ago it started to hit me - I didn't have to work at Art. not much. and that sounds conceited, but it's true. it came just easily enough that I didn't have any real motivation to work any harder. I loved it, but it just wasn't enough of a challenge. music has always been different. I love it, but most of the time I'm picking apart every little moment. if I didn't have to work on the pieces then I had stage fright to compensate for. and when that was ok then I had new pieces to work on. it challenges me and terrifies me. I love being on stage, in rehearsals, and in writing sessions. for three years I left it behind and focused on a degree, but now I have to try to make THIS work. I'll still be using the jewelry torch, and the sewing machine, and the paints, but I can't leave music behind again.

so that's where I'm at.

Back In The Saddle Again

I auditioned for the ACT production of South Pacific this week, and I made it. it was the first time that I had auditioned for anything in four years. maybe five. so yeah, I was a nervous wreck, but I knew once I did it I'd be fine, and the next one will be just like any other audition (back when I was auditioning all the time). I just wanted to be back in, and to be performing again. anything really, because it would give me the extra motivation to get my voice back in shape and my head back into performing. so being on stage? fabulous. not a problem. alot of faces out there is easier for me than two. the worst part is over, and now I get to have fun. and you may think I'm crazy, but I even love the rehearsals, the required set painting, the striking . . . all of it.

and I found more of the floor and the tabletops in my studio today.

Simple Pleasures

it's the little things in life . . .

"The United States Postal Service issued a new set of commemorative stamps depicting classic motorcycles. Unfortunately, the USPS forgot to spell-check the final version of the collector's items, because they misspelled a keyword, marking the stamps "motorcyle." Upon hearing this, RELEVANT copyeditor Tia Stauffer went postal ...9/1/06 | 2:48 PM"

that make me happy.

I <3 slices . . .

fight song

I'm going all Grey's A & titling my blog entries with song titles . . . or we'll see how that works anyway . . .

UGA beat Western Kentucky today . . . *gasp*, "really???" . . . shocker. but "yay" none the less.

Pat has a new layout on his blog, so I got curious as to new templates, thus the new look of this one. (darn you!) but now all of my links are gone, so I'll have to redo them. they needed updating anyway.

I have some new projects I'm working out, and I'll soon be sharing the plans here. just a few more details to work out first.

growl growl, grumble grumble

tomorrow is the first game of the fall football season . . . . this I am very happy about.

tomorrow means that all of the obnoxious neanderthals, jerks, and drunks will come climbing out of the woodwork, trashing everything everywhere they go . . . this I am not happy about.

go dawgs.

I started reading Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller, and something occured to me. What if "favor" has nothing to do with what we do on the checklists of our religion? What if has more to do with how we live. And not live in the I tithe, I smile at people, I give to charities around the holidays, etc., etc., but actually live. Going out and doing things, dreaming and then acting on the dream, writing, playing sports with strangers at the park. Because God created us for fellowship with Him, right? A relationship is alot more fun when the other person has a life.

Pirates II

So first they set a record friday as the highest grossing movie on its first day of release, and THEN by having the best opening weekend. Having seen this movie TWICE in twenty-four hours . . . it's awesome. If you can see it in DLP, then do that as well. Also, a second viewing is as enjoyable as the first, if not more so. I enjoyed it more the second time (even though I loved it the first). No spoilers here . . . just go watch it!

Oh, AND I loved that it proved again that . . . .

a. Hollywood is too full of itself: people want to see really good movies, and they'll pay to see them on a big screen. A drop in revenue means that someone's not doing their job, NOT that people are downloading illegally.

b. Critics are irrelevant and out of touch.

three movies to go see . . .

Superman Returns. yes, I loved it! (even with the interesting choice of story lines from the comic book.)

The Devil Wears Prada. I haven’t read the book, but I know that they definitely took some liberties when adapting it to the screenplay. this was to make them nicer or something. anyway, even if you just see it for the clothes, it's great. HOWEVER . . . the characters are great. loved this movie as well!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. this doesn't need any recommendations. if you saw the first one, then you're probably just as excited as I am. if you aren't . . . then really . . . LIGHTEN UP!!! in the meantime, go find the Black Pearl cereal . . . seriously . . .

coffee cure

I caught this in slices over at RELEVANT :

"A new study has found that drinking coffee can reduce the risk of liver damage. According to the research, “drinking coffee cuts the risk of cirrhosis of the liver from alcohol—by 22 percent per cup each day” …6/13/06 | 5:39 PM"

interesting . . .

family

I went to Atlanta this afternoon with my father to visit my grandmother. She has rapidly progressing Alzheimer’s, and just a few months ago my grandfather made the decision to put her into a care home. He did his best to care for her for as long as he could, but things got to be more the he and the rest of the local family could handle. It's hard seeing her slip away like this. This was the woman who ran Dekalb for years, helped to lead political campaigns, chaired committees, and mothered four sons and a daughter. She was an incredible grandmother as well. Dad just sat there with her, talking to her when she had some good moments, and helping with what he could. When the other ladies in the common room of the home got too boisterous, she sent us on our way.

The best part of the trip though was the ride with my father. The conversations we've had while driving to and from Atlanta are some of my favorite memories. Today's certainly made the trip a little easier.

Downtown life

There's a distinct difference between day life and nightlife in Downtown Athens, and anyone who's seen both knows it. In the day life we get Walter. If you don't know Walter by name, you probably know him as the old guy in the wheelchair. And if you know him by that, then you've probably been chased by him in said wheelchair (or at least yelled at). This guy is like a Twinkie (I'd say cockroach, but that would be offensive) in that it seems like he'll be around forever. Heck, he's been harassing Athens folk for cash and meds since before I was born! My dad has stories from his ER days of Walter's antics. Don't feel too bad for the old guy (Walter, not my dad) though, he gets a nice fat check from the government every month, and someone obviously does his laundry.

If he harasses you too much, just call the cops. They know who you're talking about.

thanks, I needed that

what IS it about a new hair(style) that make you want to go clean out your wardrobe, tackle that remodeling project, and reorganize your life. Maybe it's just a woman thing, or even just a me thing, but I needed it.

why?

because lately I've been in that post-graduation, pre-real job interim funk that happens. It's the "I need a real job to fund my Art and music, but first I have to find one." It'll happen, but right now the schedule is killing my drive (30hours hours days a week - ick).

so today I went to get my hair done, and it looks a-maaaaaazing. AND, it was just the "ok, now lets get everything else in shape" that I needed. so until I hear back about the jobs that I've applied for, I'll be organizing, cleaning out, getting the yard sale ready, making jewelry, writing songs, and wearing out my DVD player (thanks to Netflix!!!)

silly "chicks"

out of three women, not one of them has heard "think before you speak"? I'm talking about the Dixie Chicks. one of them ran their mouth and "accidentally" dissed The View. Ms. Walters was quite proud of how her ladies handled it though, and one of the "chicks" apologized the next day.

now, I don't really care what they think about the president, but this whole "we're done with country, we're rock now." yeah, riiiiiight. I've heard the new single several times, and it's as country as all of the other albums.

silly "chicks"

grad school angst

I have been considering going to grad school. There is even room for me in the program which I'd like to study in starting in the fall of 2007. But here's the thing: I don't know that I want to spend three more years in school (not to mention the money I'll need) on this. I could be continuing on my own work, my music, travel, even living somewhere else. There are so many other possibilities. The angst came last night with a call from my grandfather. He really wants me to get my Master's (or specifically, my MFA) and wants to see a course of study plan, "business plan" for financing the three years, etc. This will all have to wait until the fall, when the professor who will be overseeing my possible degree will be back from Japan. I keep trying to explain that AND that I haven’t made my final decision yet.

biding my time

or "trying to please my true love"

or "thoughts on marriage" from an unmarried single.

For as long as I can remember, I've heard that the first year is the hardest for newlyweds. The reasons varied a bit from couple to couple, but usually involved the adjustments to cohabitation, finances, lifestyle, etc. I lived with a pastor's family for a few months in Nashville, and the couple handled allot of pre-marital counseling for the church. Pre-marital counseling is a very good idea. There are things that couples don't think about during the engagement that can become big issues later on. Also, statistically couples who live together before they get married are more likely to get divorced later on. Often because there are subconscious precedents laid down before they committed to marriage.

I don't want to seriously date anyone who I wouldn't consider marrying. I did it once, and it was a mess. So have I dated much? No. Does that bother me? No. Why? Because the right man for me (one approved by my First love - God) won't be bothered by it either. So I'm biding my time, trying not to waste it on hollow romances. Is my track record flawless? Not really, but whose is?

The idea of a big ceremony scares the crap out of me. Seriously. I can't watch the wedding scenes without going into a near panic. However, after discussing this with my mother and a couple of close friends, the speculation is that the guy I'll end up marrying will want a big ceremony. Greeaaat. I will however be insisting on including power tools in the registry. I doubt he'll have a problem with that.

The actual marriage (one day) is something that doesn't scare me. I know that there will be rough points, as there are in all relationships. There's no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect woman, but if there was that wouldn't be much fun. What "they" say is that well it's the right time and the right person, you'll know. And the right time doesn't always seem like the right time; in fact it can seem like the worst time to be meeting your "match". That's what I've heard.

Oh, and if by chance you've had some dream or word or vision about who I'm supposed to marry, DON'T TELL ME!!! I really don't want to know yet.

who are we really helping?

That's the question that repeats itself over and over again in my mind every time I think about missions trips. I've been on a few. They were all very different, but also usually involved a building or work project, a meal project, and street ministry. Most trips last about a week - not a whole lot of time in the grand scheme of things, right? Most of the time it was the team who was the most affected by the trip. But then again, that's looking at it from a limited time table. Some things take years to develop.

I've been volunteering again at my church helping the wednesday night children's ministry teachers. There are quite a few kids from a nearby trailer park who come to the program. If I hadn't grown up in this particular church, I probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the kids. Why? Because not only is this church highly diverse, it also has been working with the kids from the surrounding area for years. The girls that I've been blessed to teach don't isolate themselves, but interact with each other. Not that they don't disagree with who gets most of the purple beads, but that's a minor issue. They really just want the necklace to be long enough, right? :)

Missions work can teach you that YOU are the problem. Until you are actually contributing to change, your long-winded speech is just hollow words. Personally, I think that if everyone got involved, then we'd have other things to talk about. Like what to do with all of the extra time and money we'd have for the community programs (even after the new facilities and equipment were paid for). That would be a good problem to have.

crashing

it's that time again. I am done with school and my brain and body had a staff meeting and decided that the proper course of action was to make me very, very sleepy for an indeterminate period of time.

see you in another week or so . . .

pushing through

Starting with the most recent events . . .

If you've been reading any of the recent posts, you know that I've been trying to beat a nasty little cold virus over the last week. I have a project due tomorrow, and being sick cut into my work time considerably. So this weekend I'm feeling better and make up for lost hours, although not completely out of the cold. Enter mega-migraine. My once EMT father proposed that could have been triggered by sudden drop in pain relievers that I'd been taking for the cold symptoms. That makes sense. I'd be asleep right now, but the caffeine from the med cocktail taken for the migraine has me up and wired (side note: caffeine has been found to boost the effects of pain relievers). So I worked some more on the project. I have no idea if I'll be able to finish with the original plan before tomorrow, but doing what I could tonight has actually made me feel better. Something about my wiring and the fact that doing something creative tends to make me feel better. The "ice pick in my skull" is still there, but less forceful. Oh, and I'd be doing more on the project right now, but it's in the drying stage, so I can't.

How do I start what I'm going to say next? For a little over two years now, I've come to find that I had been suffering from depression. Mild, but depression none the less. I knew something wasn't right, but I wasn't sure what. I figured whatever it was, it was just something to get over. I wasn't having trouble getting out of bed, my friends and family thought things were fine, but I wasn't. Then over the last few months I started coming across article after article about people going through alarmingly similar symptoms. I wasn't looking for these, but it got to the point were I couldn't escape them. So, I sought counsel, did some research, and started on a very mild medication. It was like a light coming on. The anxiety dissipated, the depression lifted, and I had the drive to do the things that I loved again. Oh, and I also survived the final weeks before my Exit. Not that it was all a piece of cake. I still had to face what drove me there in the first place, and the choices that I had made over the last two years. There are things that I wish I hadn't done, but I did, and that can't be changed.

So the important thing is to push through, because it won't be easy, but it will get better.

I would answer my phone, BUT

doing that would require speaking, which makes me feel kinda like I'm choking. ick.

That's how I felt yesterday (all day) and most of this week. Mom was all concerned that I didn't answer when she called. It's this annoying cold. Which, by the way, is going away, but not as quickly as I'd like.

like I had hoped, but better

part of the preparation for the Exit Show/graduation meant putting some things in my life on hold. friends, music, non-research reading, etc. have all been on the back burner until my daily life was focused on more than pending projects. I hoped that I'd be able to pick back up at least somewhere close to where I was before. a little behind or in need of some work and tlc, but there none the less. well, here I am and it's even better than I had hoped. the music is back - I even picked up my guitar more than twice this weekend. still learning, but this time feeling my way along like I do with the piano, which I've played since I was five. I still plan on learning the technical chord positions, but playing by ear is actually working out pretty well. at least I'm not running over to the keyboard to flesh out a verse. as for relationships, the real friends are still around, picking up where we left off, the ones who maybe weren't so great have drifted off, and people who I haven't spoken to in years are popping up all over the place.

oh yeah, and I'm going through books like crazy.

life can feel like hell, but it's also wonderful, it's comedy, and it's beautiful too.

I didn't get much sleep last night. Too much coffee, too much still running through my head, and a very LOUD thunderstorm. Which freaked out the dog. Come to think of it though, I didn't see my cat until sometime this morning. It was a very good storm though - cool lightning, good thunder, and rain that drowned out everything else . . . obviously very loud overall. I love storms.

So here I am, at work, a little sleepy and a little bored. Good times, right? Yeah.

My friend Mat released his new album Tuesday, and I love it. There's some old stuff, some new stuff, and the photos that make you laugh because you actually know the person in person. I can't help it, and I do the same thing with Steve's albums. When you know the goofier side to them, it takes alot of effort to keep a straight face looking at cover shots. Make no mistake though - I couldn't be prouder of any of them. When you work that hard and that long for what you dream of doing . . . it's just the best. And on the other side, it breaks my heart when friends just give up and settle.

There is wedding stuff everywhere you (ok, I) turn right now. Makes sense, as it's a little over a month until June, and planning is in full gear. I'm just really thankful that I don't have to think about any of that for myself right now. However, the television special on the history and making of wedding cakes was really cool. It was on this morning (possibly for the umpteenth time) and made for interesting viewing while I was getting ready for work. Apparently some French chef was absolutely appalled that the English were pilling sticky buns on the floor and have the bride and groom kiss over the mound of rolls. So he went home and concocted a tiered cake. One even did it out of cream puffs (of course they used a different term for the puffs, being the French). There was also a former ballet dancer (male) who does these incredible sugar flowers that look identical to the real things. There's lots of color layering involved and such. It was all very cool from a sculptural standpoint, but it's still just a cake.

I read Blue Like Jazz (Donald Miller) recently. It's a good read, and very funny at times - more or less so depending on your church background. He recounted several points in his life when he realized "I am the problem" - not nessescarily the world. It's the kind of thiing I think about when I read or hear a debate on politics, issues, etc. It makes me wonder if the energy being put into the camera, blog, or air is the only energy being put towards the "problem". Hmm. The term "losers" comes to mind. I know of some community programs that could use some more volunteers. That seems like a better use of time and energy. Just a thought.

One week later . . .

My Exit Show was a huge success. Even with the Sculpture & Fabric Open House going on downstairs, I had a fantastic turnout on my own. So my friends and colleuges attended, and the feedback has been great. One person even commented that it looked like an MFA show rather than a BFA show. Cool.

Now I'm working on getting everything back in order. I probably would have started on Monday, if there hadn't been a portfolio due on Wednesday.

It's exciting to get everything clean and tidy again after the house looked like a fabric bomb had gone off or something. And with the back yard looking more and more like a rainforest every day, there's a lovely view out of the studio window.

So what else is new? I have a bracelet in Southworks, a juried show that opens in May. Graduation is in May (exciting). You will not find me at the cerimony though. No, I plan on sitting somewhere cool that day. What's the point of sitting through all of that heat when you don't even get to hear your name called? Grad school might be starting for me next fall (2007), unless something else comes up over the next year.

Frozen Key Lime Pie

Frozen Key Lime Pie

1 lime - (1-1/2tsp zest & 3Tbs juice)

1 can (16 oz.) sweetened condensed milk

1 can (6 oz.) limeade, thawed and undiluted

2 cups heavy whipping cream

1 6 oz. graham cracker crust

Combine the lime zest, juice, condensed milk, and limeade in a large bowl. Whisk until thoroughly blended.

In another bowl, beat 1&1/2 cups of the whipping cream until soft peaks form. Add to the lime mixture, and whisk until blended. Next, pour into the piecrust, mounding the center.

Place the pie into the freezer, and let the top set. After an hour, cover the pie with plastic wrap and freeze overnight or until firm.

To serve, remove the pie from the freezer 15 minutes before serving. Beat the remaining cream until stiff peaks form, and use it to top the pie*, if desired. Voila!

* I’ve skipped the whipped cream many times, but do what you like.

life+food = humor

It's raining, I'm bored, and then I surfed over to digs. This particular thread had me in stitches! Sorry, that was lame.

things at the grocery store

What's worse than being sick and having no energy? Being sick, having no energy, and mild insomnia. So instead of stabbing myself with silk pins and sewing needles (or burns from the torch) I'm blogging. Hey, it's monday night and the only thing to watch is pair’s figure skating. WHY does she have rhinestones glued to her FOREHEAD?!? Sorry. I like Israel, but WHY??? They're not even the good ones. They look like the awful plastic ones. Anyway . . .

I was out picking up some things at the grocery store the other day, and turned down the coffee, tea, and cereal isle for a little stroll. What do you my unexpecting eyes fall upon? A very strange sight indeed. There, among the chocolate Luck Charms and pink Fruity Pebbles was something stranger still . . . with the words (and this is a direct quote) "Naturally Sweetened Chocolate Pearl-Shaped Cereal with Pirate-Shaped Marshmallows". Now I've seen my share of pirate's oats and whatever else the store brands try to pass off as name-brand substitutes. This wasn't one of those boxes. There was no cartoonish eye-patched, hook-handed bubble face with a fluffy bird drawn on it's shoulder. No my friends, this was a different pirate entirely. Johnny Depp was staring at me from the front of a cereal box. Captain Jack with his chocolate black pearls and little marshmallow pirates. I wished my dad had been there. So I went for the next best thing and bought a box so that I could see the look on his face. You see, my dad has found it amusing that after years of avoiding mainstream popularity, Depp has tied himself to a Disney franchise. Was the reaction worth the price of the cereal? Yes, it was indeed.

Johnny Depp, on a cereal box as Captain Jack Sparrow, dirty fingernails and all . . . harharharrrrr

I <3 my iPod

I do! I really REALLY do!!!

Seriously though . . . I'm very happy with my investment in that clever little electronic device. Not only do I have my music collection with me (all of it once I finish transferring it all) but podcasts and videos too. A few of you who know me can understand how giddy this makes me. Once I get through this last box of cds I'll post the chain questionnaire that Pat "broke". I'm curious to see how random it turns out.

A word of warning though . . . if you're reading this and you're planning on buying one . . . start putting the music onto your computer NOW. It takes a while.

cozy in January

I've been very (happily, for the most part) occupied lately. I might get into that more in a later post. However, for the time being . . . this is too darn cute. Check out what else they have over at knitty.